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yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me
sirius black getting locked in azkaban for 12 years for being wrongly accused of killing his best friend, escaping when he found out his godson’s life was in trouble, getting so close to proving his innocence, eating rats so he could protect harry, going back to his childhood home which he hated so he could help with the order and then dying is how i found out about life being so goddamn fucking unfair
If you ever think you did something embarrassing just remember that I had a really hot waiter one time and i was gonna order double pepperoni pizza but I looked him dead in the eye and accidentally asked for double penetration pizza in front of my whole family
Stop reblogging my failure
in 8th grade my friend thought ‘cum laude’ was pronounced ‘cum load’ and she had to do a presentation on a historical figure and she chose amelia earhart and when she got to the part where she talked about earhart’s accomplishments, she said “amelia earhart was the cum load” and the teacher was just in the back shaking her head
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